Coughing badly but taken cough medicine and painkiller just now ....now drinking a bottle of my favorite Japanese UMESHU .....Even that de medicine and wine is making me drowsy but my mind is clear and i have make up my mind from now onward I will live my life my way not gonna wast my time being a good girlfriend to all de guy who only make me as a standby or gf behind they gf or wife. I will start my clubbing from next week and other den work and family, I'm not gonna wait for anyone call or msg.. Every time I thought you are different from my other bf I knew ,but in de end i lean myself to de same pain that i had recover from...Maybe i just a gal that most guy wanna woo to keep as lover but not gf, But too bad i'm not gonna share love no matter how much i loved you and that also show that you dun really love me more den your gf...Anyway soon they will be back for me again as this always happen but when that time they're ready to do for me what i wanted them to do before it already too late as love die when time pass , wound recover and feeling fated away from my heart. The only problem with myself is when ever it happen i will always thinking of hurting myself to remind myself never to let it happen but the person whom i do it for will never even believe what i did !!but only say is it real but never ,are u ok or why you do that. What they say hurt more den the pain i cause myself. That also wake me up that he never really care or love at all.
Think i got to stop and rest now as feeling kind of high...due to de wine and medicine i took....
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