All I really want now...

What I really wanted now is to see people who love me and people who i loved to be happy and healthy always. Dun want anyone to suffer like me always falling sick and wash they're face with tears.
As seeing them suffer or unhappy kind of effected me in some way emotionally .
I do know alot of people who really care for me but I just dun wanna care for myself . And trying to making myself suffer and now i'm addicted to painkiller when i can't even help it.
I'm loosing weigh and feeling weak when my mommy trying her best to buy me all kind of food to make me eat but end up making me feeling sick after eating to much. As to me this is too much but not to people around me. I'm just feeling tired with everything and all i wanted to do is to be alone laying on my bed and doing nothing at all. so now is the time for me to sleep and do nothing as i never really that kind of people who had dream other den dream that make me cry once in a blue moon....That is dreaming loosing people i truly loved and i hate it dame much as I'll end up cry for few hour in an out of my dream...Let pray for our love one to be always happy and healthy always...good night..