Seeing de Sad world from my eye...T.T...

Now i'm feeling very disappointed with so much ppl around me and it effecting so deeply. Feeling my heart and soul is dying and really really wanna crying ....T.T.. As my gal who elder den me alot is flirting and sleeping around like i never know her at all and even ask if i want threesome , Ppl i give chance to and end up being treating like nothing but still act as god as doing all this is all for my own good, And job is making me tired as my staff really cant make it other den close deal so end up i never had my rest day this week just to rush for my work, I really want leave everything and feel stress free and pain free but i just cant hurt my mommy heart again and again! But life is just never easy when we care for other more den our self.
I've been on painkiller for more den a week already but who really care or know? Other den myself and my blogs.
I never wanna act weak or show my weak side but acting strong always is never easy and i can feel my temper is going worst still I myself cant help it but feeling so hope less with myself.
If anyone that i have hurt or throw my temper on "I really very very sorry "..T.T..I really hope i could get drunk forever and never woke up in reality to face de pain and stress as no one since to understand but keep asking for my understanding. Saying that i've been not patient and not understanding at all.
Why do de whole world think i should understand you all but no one since to think i'm human too!
I really tired and after i'ver rush all my office work. i'll be leaving this place alone to see de world my way, as finding someone who's understand and true is never easy like say....As to most ppl love is only in words nv in action or being true hearted to de person they say love too! Good Night world!!